I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
