I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
