We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You ruined the universe
Randomize
