So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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