OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
