You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
