Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
