i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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