My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
