Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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