clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
