i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
