It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
