You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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