whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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