I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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