Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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