I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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