just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think your dad took our porno
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
