SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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