he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
