you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
