i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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