used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
