You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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