I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
