Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
