wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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