And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
