How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
