but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
