Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
