I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
