I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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