is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
