tell your sister to shave her snatch
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
