I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
