Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
