who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
