It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
