Will you blow on my dice?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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