wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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