I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you repeat that, but with context?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
