69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
