where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
