Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
