Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
