i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
