Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
