I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
